everything seems a little unreal and i remain in an alternate universe. lately.
sure, i have a little home now. and my things are (mostly) unpacked, around me.
but i am seldom ... here ...

instead, out and about, helping mi familia, visiting, shuttling, working (no, not exactly a Real Job. well, that kind, but Real Work anyway). the past week, i have been home only a few hours. i have spent two nights here and i felt like a stranger. i slept more soundly at the Marriott Courtyard in Harlingen last week than i do in "my own home", which still feels like somewhere i have crept in off the street, boxes and clothes along with me, looking over my shoulder. i am eating weirdly and my clothes are looser, not so attractively. i found my hippieJeans, with patches and beads this morning. they fit. (wheee!) today i hiked in Lost Maples state park with my Margaret and her Adam and Darby the dog. it was lovely. of course, i saw more color and drama on an ordinary walk to campus in Kansas, any autumn, than i did there, but it was sweet anyway. and i climbed a steep hill.

last weekend i almost finished lots of new pieces. they are propped around the walls and already when i look at them i roll my eyes. i just can't stay connected to my work. or myself. lately. i read books, do some laundry, pack my bags again. it is all interesting. and i carry on.